Saturday, October 11, 2008

6 random things

My lovely sister Meghan has asked me for 6 random things about me. As our family in general is pretty random, I thought I'd take her up on it once I learned how to link something. :) Hopefully when you click on her name there, you'll get to her blog and her answers. She's set the bar pretty high for entertaining answers, but I'll do my best. I'm just going to list 6 of my strongly held "truths" - ie, 6 of my opinions that should be passed as law. If only I ran the world...

1. Clowns. Are. Evil. Seriously. No redeeming qualities there whatsoever, their freak show hearts just pump pure concentrated liquid evil. They eat children who wander too far from their parents in the park. I am not alone in this one, so if you are one of the people who thinks they are sweet and fun and harmless, enjoy your delusions while you still can. The be-wigged freakos are on their way over to steal your soul!

2. Everyone should be required to learn to drive a car with manual transmission - as part of driver's education to get a license. Seriously people, it's not that hard. You don't have to buy a stick shift, or even like it, but you need to know how to do it. They still make cars with manual transmissions, and yes, some of us even prefer our cars that way. (It saves money and drives better!) You never know when your pregnant friend is going to need you to drive her to the hospital, or when some hook-handed psycho is chasing you slasher-movie style, and the only car available is a manual. It's just something you need to know, deal with it. And while we are on the subject, if you are going to drive a giant vehicle (SUV, extended-cab pickup, Hummer, etc), you should have to take a special test to prove you are capable of maneuvering the humongous thing. If you can't park like a normal human being, it's a sub-compact for you. Let me just restructure the whole DMV licensing/driver's ed/car purchasing system, I promise you I can make the roads safer for everyone.

3. Don't buy clothes that have words across the ass. Especially don't buy them for your daughters. If you are one of Hugh Hefner's bunnies, you are exempt, because your butt probably would look cute with the word "angel" or "juicy" written across it. Go for it, girl, you've only got a few years in that mansion before your tushie starts saggin' and you'll be back to parking cars at wrestling shows. If you are anyone else, just say no. Or at least find the pants that tell the truth: "flabby" or "desperate". Cause no one can read the words anyway while your butt cheeks are bouncing through the Walmart.

4. I don't like spicy food or scary movies. They sort of fall under the same category for me - why would I pay good money for something to hurt/scare me? I want to enjoy my food/entertainment, not survive it. Quit trying to get me to try that jalapeno or go to that haunted house - it's not gonna happen.

5. Cheese is the perfect food. Anyone who knows me has heard this before - it is just so versatile. There is a type of cheese that will complement ANY other food out there. I defy you to come up with a food that could not be made better or complimented by the addition of some kind of cheese. There are obvious examples, like broccoli with cheddar sauce, or ham with Swiss. But there are so many less obvious - breakfast cereal? - bagel & cream cheese. Steaks? Just crumble up a little bleu cheese... mmmmm, the options are ENDLESS. God save me if I ever become lactose intolerant.

6. And I can't think of a 6th opinion right now (amazing, huh?) so I will just list out some of the crazy places I have worked: a paper mill, a primate research lab (monkeys!!!), a food science lab (microbiology & sensory testing - not on the same stuff!!), a pork processing plant (sausages, lunch meat, bacon, mmmm), a dog food plant (not so mmm), and about a billion retail jobs - bridal registries, kitchen stores, delis, and I was even a Pampered Chef consultant for a couple years.

There you go! So I'm supposed to tap 6 people now, but I only follow 5 blogs. My sister is one of them, and she tapped 2 of the other ones I know! So, that only leaves me 2 blogs left to tag. Kristie and Josephine, it's up to you. :)

The directions are:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog entry
3. Write six random things about yourself
4. Pass it on
5. Alert the bloggers you've chosen
6. Tell me when you're done, because I wanna read 'em!

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